sepia-toned memories of you and me play through my head, distorted and grainy. nobody uses vhs anymore but you and i. i wish- i wish you would take the painting you left, and take the last bit of you away. underneath the gilded-gold frame, the lily-printed wallpaper is dark. |
Author's Comments
It was actually inspired by this piece Japanese Vintage 01 by jstyle23.
 ^he's amazing. 1. Do you usually punctuate your poetry? Why/why not? Yes, because I find that that's just the way it flows out. I don't really know how to write without punctuation, and I usually find that without it, I get lost. I don't like to see a piece end without a period. 2. Are there lines in this poem where you were considering other punctuation (or no punctuation)? If so, what were you considering and why? No, I can't say there are. I like the formatting and punctuation of this piece. 3. If this a new draft of an old poem, do you feel better about your choices this time, or do you feel as if you were forcing the punctuation use? This is a poem that I wrote straight from a contest prompt to the computer. It's a first draft, and I don't feel like the punctuation is forced at all. 4. Overall, what is the effect you would like this poem to have on the reader? In other words, what are you going for here? I'm trying to make the reader feel a bit sorry for the girl, and wonder what happened between them. |
|
Community News172 400 Warming Christmas And Winter Images*rebeka-anne
 reports, 1d 8h agoA Collection of seasonal art of all mediums and genres, and from artists of all ages and talents from well seasoned experts to beginners. 77 It is Christmas in the heart...*6igella
 reports, 21h 33m agoIt is Christmas in the heart that puts Christmas in the air. Big photography feature about Christmas, full of wonderful works and wise christmas quotations. Happy holidays to you! 71 wishing you happy holidays...*enemy-89
 reports, 1d 16h agoa wonderful collection-photography,digital and traditional works from my friends,from watchers and from people randomly found on dA.enjoy! 55 Daily Literature Deviations- December 25, 2009=DailyLitDeviations
 reports, 1d 5h agoDaily Literature Deviations is a group that is dedicated to bringing literature to the forefront of the deviantArt community. We attempt to accomplish this by daily featuring Literature artists from around the community that deserve the recognition, but are not getting it. Each day we will feature 5 deviations from the Literature categories in a News Article. In order to support the artists that we feature, we ask that you  the news article as well as check out the individual pieces. We understand that each day you may not be able to check out each and every one of the pieces, everyone has their own things going on. We just ask that you make an attempt to help support the growing Literature community.54 Natures Beauty by small artists*holzoepfael
 reports, 1d 36m agoI'd like to show you some awesome nature related work from more or less unknown artists which deserve more attention - this is a must see, you won't regret it!!! 50 WE.LOVE.ART.FEATURE.VII.HOLIDAY.SPECIAL.~allieweasley
 reports, 18h 9m agoI'm a lover of visual impacts. I like brilliant colors and shapes. And I decided to collect a whole stack of deviations that reflect that taste. These pieces showcased below deserve every bit of publicity you can give them. x)P |
PollWhat is your favorite holiday tradition? |
deviantART Loves You
Deviously serving the art and skin community for 3,428 days.
Only 224 days until our tenth birthday!
|
Deviousness
^Ikue has been a devious member of our community for almost 7 years and in this time he has proven to be nothing short of dedicated and devoted. Whilst volunteering his time over the last 22 months as a Gallery Moderator within the Community Relations Team, Chris has brought the Vector gallery and many vector artists directly into the spotlight. ^Ikue's commitment to the community is evident in everything he touches and you can always find him reaching out to others with an encouraging word. Chris is a natural leader with a vibrant and empathic personality, and is a role model for deviants everywhere. It's ev... Read More
|
Report a Policy Violation
Follow us on Twitter
Become a fan on Facebook
Comments
Is film ever shot in sepia? I know photography is, but I don't know about film cameras. If not, then the transition from the sepia image to VHS is confusing. It could just be me, but the term "sepia-toned" evokes photos. Black-and-white may be over-used, but it makes more sense to me. Then again, I could just be ignorant of sepia films.
I like the subject of the piece: comparing memory of someone to art styles. The conclusion isn't upbeat, which surprised me; rather, it's melancholy and I'm unsure if the persona's wallpaper is dark in spite of the memories or because of them.
I've nothing to say of the punctuation. It all seems grammatically correct. Well, that last comma might be a splice in a complete sentence.
It's a nice poem. I'm happy I checked it out.
--
~D
My favourite part is the last stanza, it's so well-written, when I read it out loud the cadence of the last two lines really stuck with me, it's such a good rise and fall, not only in terms of formatting, but also in meaning. Also, great juxtaposition between the gold and dark.
--
to avoid criticism,
do nothing,
say nothing,
be nothing.
personally, i'd rather be someone than no one.
wouldn't you?
Thank you for all your kind words (:
--
to avoid criticism,
do nothing,
say nothing,
be nothing.
personally, i'd rather be someone than no one.
wouldn't you?
Previous PageNext Page